The Movable Buffet

Dispatches from Las Vegas
by Richard Abowitz

Category: Current Affairs

Hey, are we stupid?

October 6, 2009 |  1:51 pm

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Las Vegas has been honored by the Daily Beast as the second-dumbest city in the country: "A city that prides itself on sin performs predictably for each of our intellectual-based criteria."

I must admit I was shocked by this story's shortsightedness and lack of imagination and understanding. A little intellectual energy spent exploring the issue, and this city, would certainly have resulted in a different ranking.

After all, what other city is so adept at extracting cash from people who believe themselves to be brilliant? The casinos are expert in this area.  And many people who seem to have a lot of smarts see Vegas get the better of them -- recall conservative intellectual William Bennett being robbed by the one-armed bandit. Certainly, Vegas must have some smarts to outwit so many for so long. Every tourist arrives here knowing that losing his or her money is a strong possibility -- and most leave having spent more than they intended.

Then there are the successful gamblers, the professional poker players, not to mention the blackjack counters. Would you call them dumb?

It seems obvious that it takes a lot of brains on a lot of levels to market and continue to sell this desert city as  one of the major tourist destinations in the world.

And I really have to take exception to the criteria the Daily Beast used.  To illustrate my point: I love to read. I read a few books a week. So, I wanted to check how I might have helped the home team. It turns out, I don't help at all since I read mostly literary fiction and formal poetry. According to the Daily Beast: "We focused on nonfiction as an imperfect proxy for intellectual vigor, because overall sales are dominated by fiction works that, while entertaining, aren’t always particularly thought-provoking."  So Michael Jackson books, diet books and sex-advice books  count for intellectual vigor, but you don't get any credit for struggling through "Finnegans Wake"?  (I invite Tina Brown to sit herself down in Vegas with me and some of my local friends who enjoy good reading and then say there is no intellectual value to discussing "Recognitions," by William Gaddis, or James Merrill's poetry.)

The concept that good entertainment takes brains to create and enjoy is lost in this ranking.

Here is a very Vegas-specific example. Penn & Teller's show at the Rio is entertainment with an intelligent edge. It engages your mind. But Penn & Teller are hard to classify. Vegas is brilliant in categories that defy classification: How complex it is to air condition a 4,000-room hotel? How about design one? How much brain power is involved in setting odds or figuring out rewards programs and point systems? How about managing properties on the Strip? Some of those managers (gasp) might not even have a college degree. And that's what matters to the Daily Beast: whether there's a college degree.

The truth is Vegas is not dumb, just different from any other city. We have a wide range of experts on everything you could imagine and, because so many people moved here from other places, more diverse backgrounds than you might find in any other similar-sized city in the country.

OK, call me defensive and a booster. But I really think Vegas specializes in the sort of entrepreneurial and eccentric brilliance that tends to travel without official degrees and certifications -- or many of the standards that might be used to measure the intellectual quality of a city.

Our geniuses are not teaching at the college but working at the resorts.

That requires some imagination to grasp. Imagination that the Daily Beast lacks.

But what do you think? Do you think Vegas deserves the IQ score of 11 that Daily Beast assigned? 

Photo: Sarah Gerke


A Refugee From Porno?

November 16, 2005 |  7:48 am
Excuse me for never having heard of Kid Vegas. Outside the ubiquitous Ron Jeremy, when someone says porn star I think of a woman. But this morning the Sun has a disturbing yet sadly funny account of Kid Vegas' (the screen name for one Scott Austin, 32) shameful attempt to seek refugee status in Canada to avoid sexual assault charges against a 16 year old girl in Nye County. The former Las Vegas resident is quoted saying: "I came here seeking protection from Canada because I didn't do anything. Those rednecks are trying to hang me for what I do for a living." This stereotype of rural Nevada may fool some people but this hillbilly area is just over the county line from Las Vegas and Nye County is one of the only places in the United States where prostitution is legal. Sexually assaulting teenagers, however, causes issues. Kid Vegas should be sent right back here and tried in Nye County. If he is inocenet he can continue being the self-described Eminem of porn (to which description one porn star friend of mine burst out laughing noting that the only differences between the rapper and the porn stud were brains, success and outstanding warrants.)

Only in Las Vegas Crime Story

November 10, 2005 |  6:33 am
In 2004 the Elvis-A-Rama Museum was robbed by a thief who drove a tow truck through the back door and then helped himself to everything from the King's high school ring (and, you thought he never graduated!) to a gold-plated hand gun. But one hint that the crook was not the brightest rhinestone on the belt: the blue suede shoes were left behind. I mean, who would rob an Elvis museum and leave the blue suede shoes? And, so the guy has now been busted after he approached an Elvis impersonator on the street to sell the booty. The faux Elvis called the real police.

The Atlantic Monthly Aims Obscure Word at Monorail

November 9, 2005 | 11:23 am
The December issue of the tony Atlantic Monthly evaluates our monorail which runs from the Sahara Monorail_i1b45kkf to the MGM. Author Wayne Curtis declares the view "sadly quotidian."  But really, who isn't these days?
(photo by PRN)

Good times: Libertarians and Walmart

November 7, 2005 | 12:43 pm
So, how did the intellectual libertarians enjoy Las Vegas? With their view of unlimited freedom Las Vegas certainly offered many opportunities to explore individual pleasures. In general the speakers declared Vegas casinos a triumph of free market capitalism (while the Mirage's union servers made sure their glasses stayed refreshed). Adult film maker and Fashionistas producer, John Stagliano hosted a party for the libertarians Friday night at Krave, the first gay-marketed nightclub on the Strip. Krave is located at Desert Passage, the mall at the Aladdin where his show the Fashionistas runs and the party lasted until past midnight. I wish I had been there. According to David Nott, the President of the Reason Foundation, the unusually late hours resulted in many of the conference participants being slow to arrive for the panels Saturday morning. When I showed up one of the PhD's on the stage was still buzzing about meeting a porn star the night before. That happens in Las Vegas especially around Stagliano. Actually, the interesting thing about the libertarian panelists is how respectful they were of each others speaking time. At conventions and conferences I cover speakers always run over. But here everybody stuck to their allotted time so that the final speaker on the panel never had to rush his (and except for one woman all of the panelists were guys)remarks and there was plenty of time for questions from the audience of around 200 conference attendees. My favorite lecture was by Ted Balaker, the Jacobs Fellow at the Reason Foundation, about all the fine benefits that come from having a Walmart in your neighborhood. That is because Balaker used as his example the new Walmart from my very neighborhood where my colleague Stacy Willis discovered the Walmart picketers were temp workers hired by the union and paid less than the Walmart jobs they protested.

What Las Vegas is Talking About this Morning

November 7, 2005 |  7:19 am

An item in the November 4, The New York Post suggests big troubles for Avenue Q at Wynn. Post reporter Michael Riedel writes that the 1200 seat theater is "half empty at most performances" (and, the balcony still isn't open). He also states that Steve Wynn is bringing in new marketing executives to help save the sinking show. Aveq1_im7bkznc

This is on the heels of an October 26th article by New York Times food critic R. W. Apple that mentioned  almost in passing about Wynn (the Hotel): "Its nightclubs are already being revamped, its computer system has been plagued by bugs." And, then there is Le Reve. But back to Reidel who speculates on the possible reason for Avenue Q's problems here: " 'Q'" may also be too sophisticated for Vegas audiences, whose tastes generally run to animal acts, Celine Dion and slot machines." Get a grip, fella. First off there are almost no animal acts on the Strip anymore unless you count the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay. But more importantly, Avenue Q is not Ibsen, it is, if you want to double-check this, a naughty puppet show.


Las Vegas Should be more like Saudi Arabia

November 3, 2005 |  4:56 am

Goodman_fd1dqkgy Mayor of Las Vegas, Oscar Goodman, who once told 4th grade children that if he were cast off on an island he would want only his bottle of gin, now calls for vandals to have their thumbs cut off on tv.

(photo by JEFF SCHEID/AP)


A Place Freakier than Vegas

November 1, 2005 |  5:44 am

One of the few times I left Las Vegas was last year to travel (twice) a few hours away into another world: Colorado City, a freaky isolated place near the Utah/Arizona border.  Colorado City, when I was there, was a town entirely run by a polygamous cult leader, Warren Jeffs. Everyone worshiped Warren from the police force to the public schools to the mayor (who Jeffs banished from town prompting my first visit). Jeffs does not allow anyone in Colorado City to sell magazines, DVDs, or newspapers. I met a teenager who never, for example, heard the name George Bush (it didn't matter which one). Things have improved a bit since those days. Jeffs is currently a fugitive from justice for among other things arranging marriages between his male followers and underage girls. Today it is reported that Jeffs' brother was just picked up on a charge (reg req'd) of aiding Jeffs and let’s hope this helps authorities pick-up this self-proclaimed prophet and bring him into a court of law.


And, You Thought You Were A Lousy Parent

October 26, 2005 |  7:39 am

There is a lot of talk among Las Vegas parents about the effect this town has on children who grow up here inundated with everything from the sexy billboards to the overall culture of constant marketing of fulfillment, indulgence and shallow extravagance. But, though it isn’t politically correct to say this, what I usually see and read about isn’t out of control kids but that Las Vegas continues to have among the most selfish and self-centered parents of any community in the nation. Even though no one dies, this one appalling example stands out.


Howard Stern Makes an Early Exit From Vegas

October 26, 2005 |  7:38 am

It looks like Vegas will be at the vanguard of experiencing the post Howard Stern broadcast radio era. While most of the country will continue to receive Stern’s show until his departure for satellite radio early next year, it was announced yesterday, that Stern’s last day on local Infinity station KXTE (107.5) will be November 7. Contractual reasons have been cited locally as the reason, but no explanation of this vague term has been forthcoming. Stern has been on the air and at the top of the ratings here since 1992.

But Stern’s real connection to Las Vegas the past few years have been his trips to town to spend a week broadcasting live from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. I dropped by to check out his last visit in April 2004 and like all his Vegas excursions Stern packed a crowd so massive that I could get nowhere near close enough to see him or even figure out where exactly he was sitting. It was wall-to-wall people. And, it isn’t just any crowd. Howard Stern brings in the door every casino’s dream customers: men who love to drink, gamble and party.



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