I wanted to keep out of the McCain/Obama celebrity fight. But it is too tempting.

In Vegas we measure celebrity by hosting fees. So, McCain has accused Obama of being a celebrity like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. Of course, McCain is a celebrity too. As for Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, those happen to be the two biggest names in celebrity hosting in Vegas nightclubs. I wonder who would win if Obama and McCain were to pit their celebrity appeal against each other in the world of Vegas nightlife?

First off: None of the nightclubs I contacted would talk to me on the record because they do not want to be seen as having any political viewpoint. So that is a drawback from the get-go, as press is the entire point of celebrity hosting. And, while they get a lot of media coverage, it isn't like either man has a reality show or even a shoe line.

Obama, though, has one trump. For example, clubs that book Samantha Ronson to DJ play off the hope other notables, one in particular, are going to show up. With Obama there is the chance of the other big celebrity O arriving to the party: Oprah.

Local nightclub commentator Jack Colton did not mind going on the record and offered this perspective.

"Appearance Fee:

If the mass numbers of cheering fans present at the recent parties
that Obama has thrown throughout Europe and the Middle East are any
indication of the level of hot models and bottle-purchasing customers
he could attract here in Vegas, we can only expect his appearance fee
to be significantly higher than John McCain's.

Promotion:

Who will look better on the fliers, John McCain or Barack Obama? You
be the judge.

The night of:

If you have paid good money just to be in their presence, then you
have every right to expect them to put on a good show for the masses!
Barack Obama will undoubtedly have the DJ put the music on hold so
that he can address the crowd with a perfectly executed speech that
will lift the spirits of everyone in the club -- including the drunken
guy puking his guts out in the bathroom."

Colton seems to feel from this that Obama definitely wins the celebrity race in Vegas. But there are all sorts of ways McCain can boost his value on the Vegas nightlife circuit. As an American hero he could host a July 4 party, and being able to pack people in on a holiday weekend is a crucial duty of any celebrity host.

Of course, let's not kid ourselves, nobody thinks either of these men could get appearance fees in the six-figure range that Hilton and Spears have been widely rumored to have reached at the height of the
hosting phenomenon a couple years ago.

Nightclub celebrity hosting in Vegas may offer some opportunities for these men to cash in on their current ubiquitous television presence. (All fame is good in Vegas, only volume matters not quality, where something like Bob Dole appearing in a Viagra ad fails to raise an eyebrow.)

But if either McCain or Obama wants to move in that direction, everyone agrees they need to start by quitting their day job.

"Politics can drive people out of a club," said one nightclub executive (not for attribution, of course).