The Movable Buffet: Dispatches from Las Vegas by Richard Abowitz

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Henderson is not Las Vegas

11:30 AM PT, Mar 3 2008
P3030112 Like many people, I try to support my local community. Of course, unlike most people, my local community is literally built around a casino (Green Valley Ranch), which I live across the street from. When I eat out, I am usually at one of the many restaurants at the District, a retail shopping area surrounding the casino. My groceries come from the Whole Foods across from the casino; it is not unusual for a bus full of tourists to be at my local grocery store while I shop, getting supplies as a scheduled break from their sightseeing.
 
But that does not mean I live in Las Vegas. I live in Henderson. To be more specific, the part of Henderson where I live is known as Green Valley. From the parking lot of the grocery store you can see the Strip off in the distance. But that is an illusion based on the size of the major resorts. The Strip is actually quite a few miles away from where I live.

Many of the people in my neighborhood work on the Strip and therefore are very savvy customers when they shop, gamble and hang out in the District or at Green Valley Ranch. The result is a series of unspoken but assumed rules that differentiate the area around a local neighborhood casino from one geared to tourists. I ran into one example of that this weekend when a friend and I went to the restaurant P.F. Chang's at the District.
 
My friend lives by the $20 rule. On the Strip, if a valet lot is full, she slips the valet parker $20. A space then becomes available for her car. If she does not like her seats at a show, she slips the usher $20. And, of course, if a restaurant says there is a wait, then she whips out $20.

We both knew there would be a wait at P.F. Chang's on Saturday night.
 
"We won't have to wait," she said. "Don't worry. I know how to handle the situation." I begged her not to try her $20 game. "This is my neighborhood," I said. "It is embarrassing to do that here." 
 
My friend thought she knew otherwise. And so we arrived at P.F. Chang's. The hostesses were surrounded by customers who were waiting for their turn in the restaurant. Many families were there, waiting and trying to keep the children under control. We were told the wait for a table for two would be over an hour. My friend pulled out her wad of $20 bills and commenced negotiations. Nothing helped.
 
"That always worked before," she said. We were walking through the District looking for any place to eat without a wait. "Isn't this Las Vegas?"
 
I commiserated with her as best I could. I am sure that approach would have worked at the P.F. Chang's near the Hard Rock, I offered. But at the end of the day, despite having a casino at the center of the community, once you get away from the tourist corridor $20 buys a lot less. (Photo by Sarah Gerke)
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Richard, you might want to check out this blog: vegasrex.com
Its owner wrote a "response" to your "Henderson is..."

LadyPhoenix

Thanks, Lady Phoenix, I read what Vegas Rex (wreck?) wrote and thought he was very funny. I laugh at Henderson, too! And, I can sure laugh at myself.

But for what it is worth, his point that I am the Las Vegas blogger who lives in Henderson is correct. I work at Las Vegas Weekly, the alternative Weekly, with offices in Henderson. The Las Vegas Sun newspaper (same owner) also has offices in Henderson. I can walk to my office.

I don't think any of that makes any of us in the media frauds like he implies. After all, even the Las Vegas Strip isn't in Las Vegas. The Strip exists in Paradise, Nevada. Therefore, overwhelmingly, tourists to Vegas never even visit Las Vegas, the city.

Most of us in Vegas aren't geographically within the city limits of Las Vegas. I guess to us living in Vegas is more a state of mind (or, having a casino across the street) than being North of the Sahara to please literalists. Yrs., Richard

Rex Taylor: you should give us some insight into the bustling urban city lifestyle you experience living near the industrial part of town! Don't you want to represent SPRING VALLEY where you live? It sounds so hardcore. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable leaving my Henderson suburb to see for myself. Oh, and you should learn the city limits of Las Vegas. You don't seem to realize that your glass house falls outside the city, just like Henderson!

HAHA!! That was great! YOu two should get an act going. The Siskel and Ebert of blogging, the Abbot and Costello of blogging, the Bonaduce and Osmond of blogging...

Copy and paste his blog back over here at the Buffet and go mano y mano! This could be awesome. Look what rivalries do for rap albums and football teams!

"My photog is hotter than your photog!"

Let the games begin!

Sorry Karl, despite his obviously not being a fan, I totally dig the Vegas Rex blog. I read it regularly and think he is hilarious. If the language wasn't adult, I would link to him on the Buffet. It is hard to feud with someone whose work you enjoy. Yrs, Richard

Taking the high road!: for the win!

Richard, I'm happy you can take the high road, but I won't be reading Rex's blog anymore. If I want to hear some middle aged guy bitch about living in Vegas I'll go talk to the guy dealing nickle blackjack at the El Cortez.

Richard, since we're being technical, you don't live in Green Valley - you live in Green Valley Ranch. Different master plans, mi amigo. And howdy, neighbor.

As for your $20 tip friend, puh-lease. $5 will work at the valet unless its the MGM when the Stones are playing. Tell your bud not to drive up the price.


Sarah, do you know of any monorail stops in Spring Valley? I don't.

Besides pulling it out of their rear ends, where do your readers get their information?

Rex does not live in Spring Valley or even close to Spring Valley. He lives next to a Las Vegas monorail stop. He walks to the strip almost every day. Can you do that?

Your incoherent lack of Las Vegas geography only helps to underscore the point that people that live in Henderson are horribly out of touch with the rest of Las Vegas.

Especially since you think the monorail runs to "Spring Valley".

Another point daftly underscored by yet another Henderson resident.

Stick to commenting about things you know, like the district.

Joey,
I didn't say anything about the monorail. Where'd you get that from? Maybe you should stick to commenting on things you can read.

I got my info on where he lives from assuming he owns his house, but if I am was wrong then it just means he rents or uses aliases, either way I don't really care as much as you do.

Sarah,

If you claim he lives in Spring Valley, and claims that he lives in an area as suburban as Henderson, and go on to make fun of it, shouldn't you have something to back it up?

He lives on a monorail stop. He has stated so many times. That should have been your first tip that you were 100% wrong about him living in Spring Valley.. What does the assumptions about houses and aliases mean? It's gibberish. It is transparent that you are trying to get out of saying that you were completely wrong and instead of retracting it you go on some weird rant about homeownership. Why can't women just admit when they are wrong?

You just pulled a random neighborhood out of your butt and claimed he lived there with absolutely nothing on which to base that other than you hoped that people would take your word for it. Untruthfulness is 100x more offensive than parody or obscenity.

You just lowered yourself beneath everyone.

And if you don't care, then why bother making the comment in the first place?

There is no excuse for you not admitting that you are wrong. Again I think it underscores the point in general about Henderson people and their attitudes. Reality doesn't matter. You guys seem to be in your own world of make believe.

I guess that is why the district makes money.

Let it go, you bitter little man.

I didn't make the comment because I "cared" it was because it amuses me when people like Rex and yourself get so worked up and angry over such pointless things, like arguing about where people live.

"If you claim he lives in Spring Valley, and claims that he lives in an area as suburban as Henderson, and go on to make fun of it, shouldn't you have something to back it up?"
Nope! Comments on blogs don't require citations, lol.

"He lives on a monorail stop."
Poor guy is homeless?!?!

"What does the assumptions about houses and aliases mean?"
Hmm, looks like there are things about housing here that I understand and you don't. I'm glad it isn't my job to teach you, sounds like it would be quite the task.

"You just pulled a random neighborhood out of your butt"
Sorry, I don't play those kind of games. There's no way I could fit a random neighborhood in there anyway!

"You just lowered yourself beneath everyone."
LOLOLOLOL That is the most meaningless attempt to insult me that I've ever received.

Sarah,

"Comments on Blogs don't require citations?"

You just made that rule up like you made up the "Spring Valley" fantasy. Said rule does not exist outside of your own mind.

They require citations if you want to be deemed as credible. If you don't care that people know that you just pull things out of your sphincter, then I suppose it doesn't matter. We know how you get your "facts". You just make them up, and when corrected, you get hostile.

"Hmm, looks like there are things about housing here that I understand and you don't. I'm glad it isn't my job to teach you, sounds like it would be quite the task."

No offense, but I don't think there is anything you could teach to anyone. You have already relayed to us your utter hostility for accuracy. I'm sure you would just make up things about housing, expect us to believe you, and then get angry when it was pointed out that you were wrong.

I don't think you would make a very good teacher.

"Sorry, I don't play those kind of games. There's no way I could fit a random neighborhood in there anyway!"

Then how did you get it? Spring Valley was never mentioned. That was your contribution. If you didn't pull it out of your ass, where did it come from?

"LOLOLOLOL That is the most meaningless attempt to insult me that I've ever received."

I think the biggest insult of all is the one you have layed on yourself. You've admitted to lying, but say it isn't relevant because it's on a blog. Then you go on to tell people what a great teacher you would be.

Frankly, I am embarrassed for you.

The public at large has come to expect this kind of logic and lack of accountability from women, and you are just perpetuating the stereotype.

Not to mention what you are doing for the reputation for people who live in Henderson that can't even be counted on to have a basis for making a statement.

You were wrong. Admitting it won't kill you. Declaring it irrelevant is silly, because you took the time to post content on a widely read blog.

This was your comment:

"you should give us some insight into the bustling urban city lifestyle you experience living near the industrial part of town! Don't you want to represent SPRING VALLEY where you live? It sounds so hardcore. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable leaving my Henderson suburb to see for myself."

You were wrong on so many levels, it is frankly painful to watch you try to extricate yourself from the statement without simply saying that you were wrong and completely made it up because you had nothing more poignant to contribute.

Everybody is now aware that this is exactly what you did.

At least we know where you stand.

The truth is completely irrelevant to you.

Nobody needs citations on a blog.

"You've admitted to lying"
No I didn't. Read more carefully.

"..Then you go on to tell people what a great teacher you would be."
Wrong again!

"The public at large has come to expect this kind of logic and lack of accountability from women"
Wow, sexist much? And how do you know I'm a woman?

"Everybody is now aware that this is exactly what you did."
HAHAHA, everybody, huh? I guess I should just hang my head in shame from now on for failing to provide my research sources to strangers online.

"The truth is completely irrelevant to you."
No, it isn't irrelevant, it's subjective.

"No I didn't. Read more carefully."

You're right. You didn't admit that you were lying, but your proved that you were.

Admitting it would have been more admirable.

Although you admitted to having no idea if you claim was true or not. Most people would consider that a lie. Claiming to know something you don't is indeed deceptive.

"Wow, sexist much? And how do you know I'm a woman?"

I don't know many men named "Sarah".

Of course, you are probably lying about that too.

"HAHAHA, everybody, huh? I guess I should just hang my head in shame from now on for failing to provide my research sources to strangers online."

You abolutely should. If you are going to take the time and make the effort relay your "knowledge", comments, and perspective to "strangers online" - then out of respect for Richard, you should probably aim for a modicum of accuracy or truth since it is his blog.

If you make claims, they should be based on some kind of knowledge, rather than just completely making them up, as you did admit to doing.

"No, it isn't irrelevant, it's subjective."

So, if you claim someone lives in SPRING VALLEY (in all caps, per you), and they do not live in Spring Valley, how is the complete inaccuracy of your statement "subjective"?

...I guess I should just hang my head in shame from now on for failing to provide my research sources to strangers online.

"You abolutely should."

LOL some more.

"LOL some more."

Excessive "LOL"ing is a sign of insecurity. Not that anyone blames you. What can you rationally do at this point other than try to emote? You've been caught in a lie. There isn't much more that you can do.

And your position that nobody should check their facts before making a statement, since all of their readers are anonymous people that they don't know is pretty absurd as well.

If you are not on a first name basis with people in real life, you should lie to them. Most people write to anonymous people. Few TV shows, commentators, newspapers, or authors of any kind are on a first-name basis with their audience.

Most people recognize that if you are going to state something as fact to an audience, then you should have some basis for making the claim.

I think you are the only person I have run into that believes that making up "facts" without basis is ok simply because you don't know the people reading it.

Then again, I just think you were trying to sound more knowledgeable about something Vegas related than you really are.

Like most Henderson residents, you failed miserably.

You may have lied, but at least you proved some points. So you did serve some purpose after all.

Oh yeah, I forgot. LOL LOL ROFLMAO LOL LOL LOL

Now I'm speaking the language of Henderson. Land of the easily amused.


"Excessive "LOL"ing is a sign of insecurity."

No, I am, in fact, actually laughing at you.

"your position that nobody should check their facts before making a statement, since all of their readers are anonymous people that they don't know"

That is NOT my position, and I never said it was, so what you go on to say in the few sentences that follow that are irrelevant and don't make any sense.

"LOL LOL ROFLMAO LOL LOL LOL"

I didn't say anything funny, stupid. You must have the worst sense of humor EVER.

"No, I am, in fact, actually laughing at you."

No you're not. You're laughing because you were caught trying to mislead Richard's readers, and don't know how to rationally explain why you tried to mislead them.

You figure if you use enough "LOL"'s, people might forget that you lied to them.

If they live in henderson that might work. I don't now about the rest of the country though.

"That is NOT my position, and I never said it was, so what you go on to say in the few sentences that follow that are irrelevant and don't make any sense."

Good god you must be kidding me. I've heard of plausible denial, but this is too much. Read up a few posts where you said exactly this. It's kind of pointless to claim that you didn't say something, when someone can simply scroll up and find where you said it.

"I didn't say anything funny, stupid. You must have the worst sense of humor EVER."

I could dissect everything that is nonsensical about that sentence, but I'll just let it stand in all of its intellectual glory.

I can't wait until you start "teaching us about housing".


"you were caught trying to mislead Richard's readers, and don't know how to rationally explain why you tried to mislead them."

I didn't try to mislead anyone. I used one source to look up where Rex lives (that according to you is wrong) and I simply didn't care enough to check it against others since I was leaving a comment, not writing a news story.

"It's kind of pointless to claim that you didn't say something, when someone can simply scroll up and find where you said it."

I didn't say what you say I did, and if I had, you could've quoted me. I will advise you again to read more carefully. I said that comments in blogs don't require citations. They don't. It is a separate issue from whether or not a person making a comment is to be taken seriously and/or believed.

"I didn't try to mislead anyone. I used one source to look up where Rex lives (that according to you is wrong) and I simply didn't care enough to check it against others since I was leaving a comment, not writing a news story."

No, you didn't check any source whatsoever.

That's why you can't name it.

You simply made it up.

"I didn't say what you say I did, and if I had, you could've quoted me. I will advise you again to read more carefully."

I will certainly take the advice of an admitted liar. Who wouldn't?

"I said that comments in blogs don't require citations."

No comments anywhere "require" citations. That doesn't mean lying or making false claims is legitimate. If you are going to make as statement as if it is fact ie. SPRING VALLEY, most people would have a source, and would have no qualms about quote the source.

You simply don't have one. You made it up. I doubt it is the first time.

"They don't. It is a separate issue from whether or not a person making a comment is to be taken seriously and/or believed."

OK, so now your official position is that your blatant misinformation was a joke.

First you didn't care (then replied multiple times), at this point it was meant as a knee-slapping joke.

Maybe at some point you'll arrive at a plausible explanation for pulling a factoid out of your ass, but I doubt it. Because that is exactly what you did.


Let me spell it out for your tiny brain. I know for a fact that Rex Taylor owns a home in Spring Valley. I didn't make that up. (My source is actually public record, so you can find it yourself if you want!) What I can't be sure of is whether or not Rex Taylor actually lives in the house or if there are more than one Rex Taylors running around, because if there are, they rent or own a home under another name. The very real Spring Valley Rex Taylor may not even even be the Rex Taylor that writes the other blog, but that's why I directed my original comment to him because if he cared, he would've corrected me. It was all meant in fun, just as his columns that tease Henderson are. :)

"First you didn't care (then replied multiple times), at this point it was meant as a knee-slapping joke."

Welcome to the Internet! Oh, and I still don't care where Rex lives. I'd say "knee-slapping" would be a bit of a stretch. I was the only person contributing anything funny, and I don't think I was performing at my best :(

Wow, you went through all of that research (not even sure where you got the last name), but did not even think to check his site where the answer would have stared you in the face in ten seconds?

Very efficient.

Do us a favor. Never bid on a government contract.

"I don't think I was performing at my best :("

You said it.

Thank Gawd for The Joey and Sarah G. Show! I was about to quit reading The Movable Buffet because it seemed that all anybody in Vegas entertainment cared to comment on was something as stupid as Criss Angel.

But this...this back and forth, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! Great stuff!!

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