Teller tells of Zero Gravity
April 26, 2007 | 6:37
am
Yesterday on the front page of the Review-Journal was a photo of Teller (of
Penn & Teller) floating in a space suit. Even in Las Vegas, flying
headliners are not normally in the headlines. But Teller had just taken the Zero
Gravity flight, the latest attempt to package and bring to Las Vegas
tourists (who can afford it) the most extraordinary of experiences. I called
over to Penn & Teller's office to talk to Teller about his trip and bellow
is his account of being in a 727 that is maneuvering so as to defeat gravity and
create, briefly, for its passengers the feeling of simulated space travel. So,
here are the words of Teller, who onstage does not speak, but in reality is one
of the two most articulate headliners in Las Vegas (the other being his partner
Penn), describing the experience:"I've been acquainted for several years with the guys who are putting this
project together. Some of the guys originally came out of NASA. In fact, when
they were at the very beginning of experimenting with this, they took Penn up on
a trip with Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top). What I heard is that Penn stripped totally
naked and vomited into his own hair. That seems like the natural thing to
do. That is no longer part of their program. It is actually a very clean cut
program right now with everyone in cool official looking space jump suits and a
very official briefing. Also, there is a light breakfast; so that you will have
the right amount in your stomach and not be inclined to throw up in your own
hair. And, indeed, while I was up there no one did.
You hop on a bus and they take you out there and they have an aircraft that
looks like the aircraft you could dream of. The plane is like a tubular
gymnasium. It is padded all around. There are a couple of windows, but those are
very small. There are airplane seats at one end. The entire time I was thinking
this is such a wonderful good time, how did they ever get this by the FAA? Of
course, they have been working on this for 10 years. But what they got from the
FAA is a 100 mile long and ten mile wide corridor to run the plane. I am in awe
of their ability to navigate government bureaucracy. But you still go through a
TSA screening on your way on. It killed me to see TSA people wanding down heads
of casinos and newspaper owners like somehow a terrorist could slip onto such a
flight. This is really for people with the money and the enthusiasm, who
want to float around like they dreamed of when they were kids.
When you take off they have given you instructions ahead of time. So, you
know what is about to happen and that the plane is going to be moving in this
parabolic pattern. When you are at the bottom the of the parabola you are going
to be about 1 1/2 times your usual weight and when you are at the top you are
going to be 1/6 gravity or completely weightless.
They do one pass in which you are the weight that you would be on Mars. So,
that is when I started doing my handstands. I've always wanted to do a
handstand but never had the strength. On Mars I'd be able to do a handstand. So,
I did a handstand. Then they take you to moon gravity, and there you can take
these big loping steps. Then you get to zero gravity. Each time you have about
half a minute in the particular gravity environment, because essentially what
they are doing is giving you a small arc of the kind of orbit that a space
capsule would have when it is orbiting around the earth. So, while you are in
that arc you are in the same state of experience that an astronaut would be in a
space capsule.
Then you hit zero. You lie on the floor when you are heavier than yourself.
But when you hit zero you say, 'Okay, I am going to get up now,' and, with the
slightest effort, you are already on the ceiling. So, very quickly, after one or
two parabolas, you learn that you do next to nothing and that is the most fun.
Next to nothing is where you find yourself floating in this very eerie space
where up and down are no longer pertinent. One of my friends who was one of the
original NASA guys just had a pen with him. He kept releasing his pen, and his
pen would float gracefully in the air. There were guys on the plane who were
newscasters who were trying to do stunts for their cameras. They ran around all
over the plane and tumbled over themselves. But the people who really, really
got it did next to nothing: release a pen or watch M&Ms. They give you a
water balloon to burst and little globs of water come out and it is fascinating
to watch.The sensation is rather sexy, because it is so tactile and such a
strange sense of difference from the way you usually feel your own body. So, if
you don't throw a lot of effort into it, but just kind of let it play on you, it
has this very sort of sexy quality.
Of course, I was thinking of what kind of trick we (Penn &
Teller) could do in this environment. But I didn't really come up with anything,
because the experience is so intoxicating. You are spending a lot of time with
your body experiencing a sensation that is completely difference from anything
you have had in your life. You go in with these clever ambitions and you wind
up...well, it is kind of unearthly."
photo by Damian Dovarganes/AP
photo by Damian Dovarganes/AP
