From Heroin to Vegas: Artie Lange Speaks

12:20 PM PT, Jan 26 2007

Artie Lange missed work yesterday because he was ill and is worried he may have to go to the doctor today. Nothing serious, he says, normal sick. But last night he was nice enough to call me for our interview: "Sorry," he said. "I keep crazy hours." Of course, Lange is out East and in Las Vegas it was a lot earlier. Lange will never be tabloid fodder because he is too quick to expose his worst behavior to his fans: hard drugs, drinking, sexcapades, etc. But Lange's walk on the wild side is balanced by a workload that includes five hours on Sirius satellite radio every morning, stand-up and movies. As for television, Lange recently taped a guest shot on Entourage that he tells me everyone is exuberant about. "The were so happy they want to have me back," Lange said. This was followed immediately by, "I got to try to get happy myself." The dynamic of Artie Lange in a nutshell. Lange will be bringing his stand-up to the Luxor February 2-3 for two shows a night. Here is Part 1 of my talk with him and I will have the rest for you on Monday.

Q: I get the feeling you have the sort of job where people don't call in sick. Is it unusual for you to call in sick?

A: This is maybe the 5th time I've called in sick in my years on Stern and 3 days had to do with withdrawing from heroin.

Q: Are you feeling okay to do an interview with me now?

A: Yeah, I don't know how I am going to feel tomorrow or if I am going to be at a doctor, so let's do it now. I feel alright right now.

Q: What has been going on with you?

A: In my career things couldn't be better. The Sirius show is great with the lack of censorship being so much fun particularly for me being a nightclub comic. I have a deal for either a sitcom or a late night talk show that I signed with Fox last month. It's a pretty lucrative deal. And, stand-up is through the roof; I am selling 3,000-5,000 seats in half an hour. It is unbelievable. So, the money has never been better and I am busy and everything is going well.

Q: Last time I talked to you there was trauma in your personal life. Has that cleaned itself up?

A: No, no. I am glad that everything professionally is great because personally I am a mess. In the last year I put on 100 lbs from stress, depression and you know. I lost my girlfriend who I had for four years, and I was totally in the mind set that we were going to get married. But last year some old demons popped back up and I had to withdraw from heroin, which is something I haven't done for like 10 years. On the road I started snorting heroin. I landed myself in a position where I had to detox and I needed time off from work, and right after that time off for work I started shooting Beer League. So, it was an insanely stressful time, and I think my girlfriend saw some dark things that I wasn't going to recover from so I lost her. I haven't done heroin for a year. But I substitute one self destructive thing for another. So, I am still bluesy about the girlfriend and trying to stay as clean as I can. But I've never made more money in my life and my career has never been better.

Q: That is the irony about your life every single time I talk to you. The trauma you throw into your life makes you successful...

A: I guess. People loved flawed people.The relationship I have with my fans is one that nobody else has with me. Through Sirius they hear me five hours a day talking about everything.

Q: So, do you have a new girlfriend now or any stable relationship?

A: No. It came out on the air that I slept with this chick in Atlantic City right after me and my girlfriend broke up. Actually, like the next day. When I go to Vegas I am always looking around.

Q: You are going to be at Luxor for Superbowl weekend in Vegas. That is going to be a madhouse...

A: Yeah, I've done it before. For three straight years I had a verbal agreement with The Hard Rock when (Peter and Harry) Morton owned it where I did Superbowl eve there every year. The shows sold out, and I made good money and they would always turn into huge parties. Then I took a year off, because I shot the film. I was pretty loyal to the Mortons but now they sold the Hard Rock so I was up for grabs. The Luxor came in with an amazing offer and I am doing two shows Friday and Saturday (February 2-3).

Q: Two shows a night. Does that kind of work schedule mean you won't have time to get into trouble in Vegas?

A: I'll be in nocturnal mode. So, I'll be up all night and sleep during the day. When I get up I'll try to gamble.

A: Why? Artie, just keep all the money you get from the Luxor and leave Vegas a winner!

Q: No, no, no. You know, the kind of money I'm making, look, if I lose this kind of money that will be depressionville like no other. I don't think I'll lose the scratch. I'll come out ahead with what they are paying me, that's for sure, unless something obscene happens. But I want to put some money on the Bowl, the sports books, poker, a little craps, you know, to just enjoy myself. It is insane money they are giving me and I am only going to be there for 2 1/2 day.

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