Sharks at Golden Nugget

And, it was cool. I highly recommend checking it out. It isn't as massive as the shark tank at Mandalay Bay, of course. But thanks to the water slide it looks to be more fun, and what a fantastic addition to the swimming experience on the property. I love watching the fish. On the other hand, I wasn't in the mood for Golden Nugget's plan to get the media to pay attention to all of the other tinkering with the property like at the buffet and the spa, oh, and the private cabanas around the pool. It was actually a fairly clever plan along the line of a condo presentation model. We were grouped and given a tour guide for what I was told would be a one-hour walking tour of the property. We were also given a blank "passport" where we were supposed to get a stamp (and a gift) at each stop on the tour. At the end, the fully stamped passports were to be turned in for raffle for prizes like two free nights at the Golden Nugget.

From the outset, I knew I wasn't going to play the passport game; I tried to suck it up and do the walking tour. But I wouldn't take a one-hour walking tour of the Louvre without wandering off, so when it came to an expert lecture on the detailed amenities of the Golden Nugget.... The first stop was above the shark tank and to get there our group loaded onto a freight elevator. On the ride, our guide read off facts about the shark tank, pointing out that the concrete-and-steel saltwater enclosure in the desert was, in fact, manmade.

"Manmade," I deadpanned. "Really?"

The guide double-checked and read back in all seriousness "Yes, it says here manmade."

A couple people snickered. And Sarah Gerke stepped on my foot. Gerke and I wandered off before anyone even got the first passport stamp. I tossed my passport in the trash.

Golden Nugget seemed to be having some other problems, and not just with my admittedly poor attitude. Gerke and I still wanted to see everything (just not be lead about by publicists) and so we checked out the buffet and then got on the elevator to head to the spa. Two of the casino marketing employees in charge of the event got on the elevator with us. Like everyone else we ran into, they reminded us that by leaving the tour early we were missing out on the gifts at each stop and our chance at winning the prizes in the raffle. I said that was fine. I asked the one question I cared about: Is the Golden Nugget's showroom still the same stage that Sinatra performed on in the '80s? Neither knew the answer. (This, by the way, is one of the reasons I avoid guided tours: the guides only know one storyline and don't actually know much off-script. When it comes to casino-resorts it is better to wander first and then ask.)

We eventually, realized we weren't going anywhere. The elevator leading to the spa was broken. It would not go to the spa level. The Golden Nugget employees were worrying how the media tours would get to the spa and radioing maintenance for assistance. It was clear this had happened before.

Gerke and I headed back to my car. We got there at 7:08, according to the citation, missing by seven minutes the officer who ticketed me on an expired meter. I am always amazed that while most of the city of Las Vegas services are routinely incompetent, the meter enforcers are so efficient they are like Santa: I never see them IRL — the only evidence of their presence is the gift ticket left behind. Anyway, my fault; no blame on that one.

When we got back to my place, Gerke began to upload her photos and noticed someone from our tour group had e-mailed to ask if she had to leave Golden Nugget because of me, commiserating with her and referring to me with a minor obscenity. Fair enough. Still, while I admit I was a bit of a jerk, I consider being selfish with my time a survival skill in Las Vegas, and I am not giving that up. Besides it wasn't Golden Nugget's agenda that mattered. Gerke and I achieved our goal. We explored the resort (minus the spa) and, most importantly, the shark tank, swimming pool and slide; I can tell you that come summer, this is worth a trip downtown.

Of course, if you are going to the Golden Nugget, make sure to put extra money in the meter, you know, in case the elevator doesn't work or something.

(Photo: Sarah Gerke / For The Times)