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Dispatches from Las Vegas
by Richard Abowitz

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Artie Lange and Vegas: A Potent Mix

July 14, 2006 |  2:49 pm

Artielange2_iiyezcinc_2 At the CineVegas Film Festival last month, where the stars present included Dennis Hopper, Laurence Fishburne, Christina Ricci, Sylvester Stallone and Helen Mirren, nobody drew a crowd like rotund comedian and Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange. Fans followed Lange around the Palms and turned out in the hundreds to scream as he walked the red carpet drink in hand for a screening of his film "Beer League." (The movie will be released Sept. 15.)

Lange was still ecstatic about the experience weeks later: "The reaction was a million times better than what I expected. I never make anything for critics to like. I make it for guys who work construction." Indeed, Lange has no ambition for his film to place his name beside those of Fellini or Woody Allen. "It cost $5 million to make and $2 million to advertise. My hope is just to make the money back in theaters, and then all the DVD money is gravy." His only regret about the CineVegas trip — he had yet to officially dissolve his relationship with his girlfriend and so he says he held off on the hookers.

There is something of the perfect fit between Artie Lange and Las Vegas, and woe to anyone who gets between him and his fans here. Jeff Beacher learned a lesson about Lange's fanatical appeal when he booked the comedian to headline his Madhouse revue at the Hard Rock. Mixing variety performers, sexy girls and comics, Beacher's Madhouse was already popular with the same hard-partying demographic that Lange draws. But the combination did not go as planned.

"It was a disaster," Beacher recalls of the night. "I've never seen anything like it. His fans just wanted to see Artie. They didn't want anything to do with my show. It was the only time ever that every single person who works for me got booed off the stage, from the beautiful dancing girls to the sword-swallowing transvestite."

When Lange returned to Vegas a few months later, Beacher had Lange appear solo, raised the price of tickets and added a show. Beacher says both shows sold out in hours.

Lange's explanation for his massive Vegas appeal: "Vegas is ground zero of fun and vices, and people know I'm into it."

Indeed, some might say Lange is too much into Vegas' fun and vices. If Vegas has been the setting for many of his triumphs, this town has also been the launching pad for some humiliating disasters. In the second category was a nearly career-destroying incident in 1996 that cost Lange his job on "MADtv": "I went on a cocaine binge that started in Vegas at the Tyson-Holyfield fight. I bet on Tyson and lost $15,000 on the fight and then lost $6,000 at the tables before heading back to L.A. I went to rehearsals coked up and got arrested." (Court records show the case never was tried.)


LANGE says he kicked drugs and began rebuilding his career through appearances on television and in movies, and things really took off when Stern hired him in 2001. "When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs." Yet even without drugs, Lange's laughs often come from the chaos of his life devotion to hobbies like drinking and gambling. "It is a double-edged sword," Lange says of using his life for his material, which stresses the crude and the blue.

Nowhere are both edges of the sword more apparent than when Lange comes here. "I am a guy who has struggled with every kind of addiction. I love gambling, and it has gotten me into trouble before. I love drugs and booze. The drugs finally had to go, but the booze is still very much in play. And you know I love broads. I am definitely not someone who is embarrassed to get a hooker or two," he says.

And there are those who expect the spectacular ways Lange's professional and personal life tend to merge in Vegas to one day be the end of him. Especially over the past few years when Lange has arrived in Vegas for remote broadcasts with the Stern crew, his experiences the night before often became fodder for the show. "The last few times I came here with the Howard Stern show I nearly died," Lange admits.

Once people even thought he did expire. A prank call by a fan during a 2004 Vegas expedition resulted in media reports of Lange's demise. "The depressing thing is that everyone believed it. Here I am in my mid-30s, and everyone just goes, 'OK, he's dead.' "

But avoiding Vegas is not an option for Lange, citing the lucrative fees. Lange says he's made "up to $40 grand in one night doing stand-up."

The most recent drama to grip his world (and be a topic of endless interest to Stern's audience) has been the dissolution of his relationship with his longtime girlfriend Dana. "You know, I have never been that much in love with a woman before in my life. It is the most adult like I have ever felt in a relationship. We dated for 4 1/2 years. But it has been dying a slow, painful death. I think it might be officially over. It is very hard."

So, newly single, Lange returns to Vegas this week for a television taping as part of a typical workweek: "It is going to be a whirlwind few days. I've got to do the Stern show July 17 and July 18 and then get on a plane and fly to L.A. to shoot 'Entourage' on the 19th and 20th and then fly to Vegas and do 'The Best Damn Sports Show' from the Mandalay Bay. Then I am going to hang in Vegas and take the red-eye back on July 22."

Taking a measure of the personal and professional blessing and curse Vegas has been to him, Lange says, "Financially, I am probably down about $30,000, and emotionally, I am about even right now."

That is, until he returns this week. Then all bets are off.


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Comments

Honestly..Artie is a nice guy--and it's nice to know he pays top dollar for hookers because he sure as anything doesn't tip the all the other people who deal to him, serve him drinks, or clean up after him. He is known as Atlantic City trash here in Vegas..and it pains me to tell you that because I am a fan of his honest comedy.

Lisa

How much do you get paid to come up with this stuff????? Do you have a day job?

WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Artie, you are the closest thing to real life on the Stern show. I worked in AC for ten years. Some of the Vegas workers think they deserve money no matter what the outcome. I've gambled in Vegas and they are like vultures, win or lose. Keep up the good work. I love how you've made Fred come alive. It's a riot listening to him laugh at your wit.
Love ya Artie!

Artie, you truly are an open and honest person. I feel that is why people can relate to you. People can spot a phony and you Artie are just being yourself. You are such a pleasure to listen to on the stern show, and your stand up act is second to none. Good luck, looking forward to the opening of beer league.

FFFFIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

live to see your movie arty

I owe you a Jack-and-water the next time I see you in Vegas, Artie.

I love you Artie! You are the best! I will be in Vegas the days you are. I'll see you at Mandalay:)

LANGE LIVE AT THE RAIL IN BOUND BROOK, AUGUST 10 2006 - PREMIERE PARTY...CALL RESERVATIONS 732-469-6590

Artie is funny. But only about as funny as any three of your buddies you hang out with. He's definitely an honest guy who would be a blast to hang with - and not surprising all the guidos in NY and LA like him, because they are the last to grow up. Let's face it he's certainly no comic genius. And poor pitiful Howard Stern, jumped the shark a long time ago, and this new show on Sirius gets pretty boring fast. Great, need to hear another stripper ride the Sybian and then follow it with a Joan Rivers interview. Oh and throw in an F-bomb. Funny stuff. Not.

Skaboochy must be an O&A fan, those tired old rip-offs of Howards. Howard puts on the smartest, funniest show on any radio station anywhere. Go listen to free-fm and hear a sanitized O&A show if you want and stay away from Howard and Artie's fans.

Artie rocks, he is so funny and honest he has brought new life to Howards show.

Artie Lange is one of the last great American heroes.

HI FRED

Artie, it isn't just what Howard has done for you, but what you have brought to Howard's show. I was never a fan of Jackie I'd-sell-my-mother Martling, and by the time he left I was relieved. You are so hilariously funny and yet genuine, that I am just sure everyone who listens to your stories about your mom and dad, about how Dana treated you, about all that has happened to you on Sat. Night Live, on movie sets, whatever--just has to fall in love with the human side of you that seems to just ooze out of your comedy.
As a person who writes about sports for a sideline,(I'm not yet good enough to get paid)I hope you meet a woman who shares your interests and learns to love you for you. If at anytime anyone asks you to change who you are, it is time to bail on that relationship. Life is too short and precious to waste on those who don't "get" us and never will. Eventually, you will stop overdoing the drinking and gambling when you one day wake up bored with all of it.
Many of us who listen to the Stern show get you and love you unconditionally Artie. We all hope you learn to love yourself--even if many of us identify with you because we, too, often do not love ourselves, either. God bless.

PS-- Tell Howard that Eliot O. has to go; he adds nothing to the show.

Artie you got played today by Howard.He got you all worked up into a lather, throwing you under the bus with Dice. Then Robin does nothing but whine at you for a half hour that you're over-reacting, even Fred jumped in. I feel your pain!

WHO DIS?

Help Me! Help Me!

Artie Lose weight or(DIE)Get a blood test.I had a double by past it hurt. (OR DIE)-COME -ON- MAN -Up.I am still over weight,but I hope to lose weight soon.

Artie rocks, he is so funny. Howard Stern is FFFFIIIIIYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Artie you are real.

Artie, you rock. I love your subtle comments--as well as your not-so-subtle ones. As far as drugs or drink or whatever the F it is, you gotta go what you gotta do. We all do it, whether we admit to it or not. I think Howard is funnier than ever and you have a great deal to do with it. Take care of yourself. Not because we give a shit as to what you do to get by. But because we want you around doing your thing for a long time to come. Love you, man.

P.S. Artie, you are hot!

Artie ya are a great comedian and will be for years to come...We love ya Artie...Take care



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